Grief is one of the most human and most difficult experiences to go through. It is not only about the death of a loved one; grief can also arise from a separation, a diagnosis, a job loss, or a profound life change. In reality, grief appears every time we lose something or someone we loved or that formed an essential part of our life.
And although pain is inevitable, prolonged suffering does not have to be. Supporting a grieving process with understanding, care and patience can make a great difference.
What is grief and why does it hurt so much?
Grief is a natural reaction to loss. It is the psychological and emotional process we go through in order to adapt to a reality without that person, bond or situation that is no longer there.
It hurts because we face emptiness, absence, and often the feeling that the world has changed forever. Grief also stirs memories, previous wounds, existential fears and the certainty of our own vulnerability.
It is a deep, intimate and unique process. There is no single correct way to experience it, and each person goes through it in their own way.
The stages of grief: myth or reality?
You have probably heard about the “five stages of grief” — denial, anger, bargaining, sadness and acceptance. Although they can serve as a general guide, it is important to understand that:
- Not everyone goes through all the stages.
- They do not necessarily occur in order.
- You can move forward and backwards several times.
Rather than a linear path, grief is an emotional rollercoaster. And it is okay for it to be that way.
What matters is not “completing” stages, but allowing yourself to feel whatever comes up without judging it.
Complicated grief: warning signs
Most grieving processes, although painful, resolve over time and with the right support. But in some cases, they can become complicated or pathological.
Some signs that you may need professional help:
- You feel that the pain does not lessen over time — after 6 to 12 months.
- You avoid everything related to the loss.
- You feel trapped in guilt or anger.
- There are severe depressive symptoms or suicidal thoughts.
- Grief interferes with your work, social or family life.
Asking for help does not mean you are “failing” at your grief. Quite the opposite: it is a way of honouring yourself and giving yourself the space you deserve to heal.
How to support yourself — or someone else — through grief
Sometimes, what we need most is not great advice, but presence and humanity. Here are some keys to offering respectful support:
If you are grieving:
- Do not judge yourself for what you feel or for “how long it is taking”.
- Look for spaces to express yourself: talk, write, create.
- Do not isolate yourself completely, even if you feel like doing so.
- Give yourself permission to keep living, even if you feel guilty for doing so.
- Remember that you are not alone: although your pain is unique, many people understand what it means to go through it.
If you are supporting someone who is grieving:
- Do not say “I know how you feel”, because you do not.
- Avoid phrases such as “everything happens for a reason” or “they are in a better place now”.
- Offer your presence more than your words.
- Allow the person to express their pain without trying to “fix” it.
- Be patient. Supporting someone is also an act of love.
Resources and professional support
Psychological therapy can be a safe and caring space to move through grief. It is not about forgetting or “getting over it”, but about integrating the loss into your life in a way that does not prevent you from moving forward.
In consultation, we can help you to:
- Understand what you are feeling.
- Process the loss from a deep and respectful place.
- Rebuild a new way of relating to what is no longer there.
- Strengthen your internal resources.
Grief is a path of reconstruction, and you do not have to walk it alone.
In summary…
Grief is not an illness or something that needs to be “cured”. It is an expression of love, connection and humanity. And although we cannot stop it from hurting, we can support you so that you do not hurt alone.
Healing takes time, but with care, support and presence… it is possible to breathe again.
Are you going through a grieving process?
I can help you move through it with respect, without rushing and without pressure. Supporting you through listening and presence, so that you can find meaning even in the midst of pain.
